No where older. Just as inexperience as ever. But No Sherilyn gives up!
I took one walk around my house.
My head is still as heavy.
This morning, I woke up to staring out of my window. The same thoughts were still floating in my head.
I might be behind schedule but I always know I will always be able to make it in time.
That leads to my second problem.
I have been self-creating them too much probably too.
Pushing the blame to others isn’t going to help me at all/ much.
The constant struggle to push thoughts out, I think this is one problem girls faces A LOT.
You get reminded very easily of things you’ve done together.
It already has been 3 months, but the sudden departure of his existence. How is possible to miss someone so much?
Staring at my reflection now.
That forever smiling-full of rubbish Sherilyn..
I’m a giver.
So why am I feeling all down about not getting?
Because I have been caring too much about wanting certain things to flow through my way, that I didn’t realise what has been done on the side roads. Too focused in my own direction. Too much thoughts in my head that I stopped paying attention to the real things around me.
Yesternight, the sudden wave of highness. That smell of air that I’ve not felt for a long time.
I think that is what I have been missing out.
Sherilyn head has been too sticky too. What do you get when you put two kids that just can’t express themselves clearly when it comes to love together?
My fear to cross whatever-non-existent-line. Why is there even shyness present?
After so long, the fear of rejection still exists.
This boils down to not being comfortable entirely STILL.
Status is important. But status can change things.
It doesn’t have to. But I have been unable to prove otherwise.
ALL THE JUMBLES IN MY HEAD.
Meimei’s coming over to stay w me for a while! That makes me happy.
I can’t give my 100% to my work yet.
I will get through this one month and emerge with a clear head and a healthier state.
This 3 months has been too packed and tight and rush that my emotions are all over the place.
I hope this holiday will be a good time to clean up my mess. Before the next sem begins again.
Helplessness haunts me for not being able to do anything.
Just whine, I’ll listen. And throw in a hug.
It still takes a lot of courage from me to reach out for one.