There are times when I strongly REALLY believe in this. But there are also times where it failed me.
The little meetup w the primary school gang last night. The only difference this time is how much we missed out on each other’s lives and having a more mature thinking now. The same people I spend time climbing the playground with are the very same people I know I can trust. Trust, this storing word. It’s the trust that I know I can rely on. There aren’t many in my life that I feel the same way about.
The talkings did help! For a very long time, SINCE A LONG TIME, it really has been a long time where I felt heard. And answered. Answered positively, to how I wanted to hear my answers. Nothing about giving up. SEE! This is how I grew up to be sweetly optimistic.
Anyways! Moving on. There are times when I feel like I’m living in my own fairy tale. It’s been a year since all the lovey drama happened. It’s been a year of learning for me. Learning to not have expectations. It’s been clear all this time to be, but I refuse to face it up. That I either choose reality, and accept the fact that sweetness will not happen in OUR world. Or choose to move on and face other problems that I’m not facing now. There’s the good and bad in everyone. I do have my plus and minus points too. We have our happy and miserable days together too. What’s in the way, or making things work, is the belief that we each have towards each other. There are days when I don’t feel on worth a single shit to him. Over thinking will just kill everything.
I have to know that we are both on different starting points. All those “list of things that girls want”. Of course it applies for me too! I can’t be too greedy and demand the best of my world right?
Monday Work w the papa + Study date w Laoshi Ong + Gossip break w the forever young gang.
Tuesday one more working day w papa (I truly hope the aunty is entirely alright.) + sing my hearts out w D and another D
Wednesday Experiment day and finish that project burden + probably dinner for the Wallaby kid who have not had IKEA meatballs before
Thursday Rock climbing morning (brained washed myself that I have been too inactive) + study date w Laoshi again! (I feel damn at ease when I’m studying w Ms Ong)
Friday some time for the meimei who’ve been stressing so hard and me being not of help..
Saturday Woohoo! Faggot’s coming out!
Sunday I miss the gang, but it doesn’t feel the same back
And between all these time, I’m gonna have to clear two piled up modules to prepare for the 2 quizzes next week.
Yeah! This balance I can work it out! And when it’s all worked out. I feel I’ve succeeded all alone. Without the one I want to share all my joy with.