K. It’s … And I don’t know what to say.

by limmie

The eggs in my fridge remains untouched or unspoken off. My drawings didn’t seem noticed. Like each of our presence.

April fool should last the entire April. I didn’t get to try my list of coloured hand wash or putting a stack of notes in a wallet.

The entire point of being home…
Just seems like, yeah, we are all too tired in our own world. We just need to return to this one world and feel safe and TO EACH OWN BUBBLE OF THOUGHTS.

Tonight w Jiahui and Eugene. Nope, how recent has this feeling of -no it is not time to go home yet- came? Hardly! But tonight, was pewpew, WE ARE OLD ALREADY.

The afternoon eating and shopping w my dear sister is leaving me broke. Yesterday afternoon of studying investment during the break is leaving me bonkers. Dads bringing out all the annual reports right now. I see a glimmer of hope he has on me! HAH!

I dislike work. I like work.
I dislike the job scope. I am starting to settle in the ‘food’ section.
If not for the friends or the money… I really want to get back to Heat! It’s not as tough. And customers will smile when you smile because you have a pretty dress and pretty smile and not a bandana or technician costume or smell like hotpot or .. I don’t want to scrub bleachy stuffs. Not whining, I MISS CHELLY AND EVEN SHAN AND HOW EVERYONE CAN WORK HAPPILY TOGETHER AND POUR DRINKS AND THE GM CHECKS ON US AND SMILES AND GET RANDOM CAKES OR NACHOS AND IT FELT LIKE ONE SMALL COZY HEAT FAMILY.

And now.
Waiting for letters.
There’s no burning passion to get cozy w the shares.
Or finish my sitcoms.
Or read my books.
Or sleep.
But just get the day out.
Bask in the sun.
Swim.
Eat.
Drink tehbing.
Pizza.
Seafood.

With the sec sch gang. (Yes two years flew by so fast everyone’s coming out !)
W the first and second batch of YAAs.
One group is busy w Timbre next week. While the other is working hard prepping for events!
And the workaholic slacking poly people.
And Ms Koh.
And Mr Tan, please do not visit my work place during my working hours.

I think I’ve dropped ten thousand feet down.
This burst of -I cannot explain or describe – feeling all of a sudden.
It’s 1.29 and I should have been asleep.
The thought of Mr Ng’s situation made me think of mine.
And then … YEAP. I told myself probably tiredness. But this wasn’t as bad as intern’s period where so much brain cells were burnt. Now, hands and feet cells were merely used up.
So, what’s this that I am feeling?

I hope too much.
I’m the novice.
I yearn too much.
And when it doesn’t turn out the way I expected.
I wonder why.

I guess I have done wrong.

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