Sometimes I wanna disappear. Before it’s too late.

by limmie

I did not ever plan to admit this.
Because it will just make me look like a needy fragile person.
And the front I have been giving, the loud carefree cheerful me.
It just doesn’t coincide nor makes any sense.
All inside I am just down down down.

Why must love be like this?
Forever dependent of the other half.

I don’t want it.
I don’t like it.
But I can’t stop it.

I had the monday for RX.
The tuesday for a good family meal.
The wednesday for Shimin.
The thursday for Ken.
The friday for yc and cg where we had frogleg and gasp SOMEONE HAS A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY. YC says froglegs are usually for celebration, but I wonder what were we celebrating. Next up with be crabs. #silent cheer
AND the second group of YAAs I never imagined I could have so much fun with.
Everyone’s just so enthusuatic of the next meeting and so accepting of a newbie me.
And yesterday was the day, since Primary 5, I actually felt and remember how I can lead.

And the Saturday. Perhaps it’s each of us preference, perhaps it’s just not practical for you.
I made the time for you.
The morning just feels like, meh we can always meet up another time.
It’s sian, it’s boring, but it just stops there.
These few weeks, I have definitely learnt to suck it up and accept our each own’s busy schedule.
And then I am thinking, Yeah, Whatever.
B U S Y. Totally. #All sarcasm pun intended.
And then I am just wishing things would eventually turn out differently.
So I hope.
And just wait.
And then complain here.
And continue waiting.
Until I can’t.
Time shall tell.
Because my head burst so badly.
This shouldn’t be the way I get rewarded.
With a throbbing headache.
Chris Daughtry sings, Love will find you. What about now? Before it’s too late.

So the Saturday of Sining’s 21.
Where Jolie and Adeline and Wilson and I shall shop for the present in 2 hours.
And I can’t make time for James and Losh and Teh and JH and movie again.

And Sunday’s SIT open house.
It’s my dad that is getting ridiculous recently.

And Monday. Something to look forward to after work with Alex and Ryan and perhaps Jeremy and 50 big Macs.

And in this entire post I am just thinking, When’s Ben gonna come in?

I don’t want to be only there when you need me. I tried to stop myself and failed.
That’s just the way it is, for me.

You’re my heartbreaker.