who knew what i actually can do? #yesinsertsmileyface

by limmie

when one gets too focused and optimistic and becomes a strong believer in their own plans..
what happens when things take a turn?
what happens if things don’t turn out the way we insist?
what happens if there’s no back-up plan to fall back on?

In a way Dad and Mum leaves me on the make my own decision, listens to whatever plan i have in mind. give a little input, irrrelevant inputs from mum at times. they throw me independance the moment i had to choose my secondary school.

that there-but-not-there disappoint has been what i have been feeling.
seeing my psle grades, wondering if it is good enough for me.
but my o level grades made dad teared in the school hall.
and now my bi-annual gpa grades. they are good, but not good enough. until i dont know how to expect myself to feel.

power shortage in the office right now. im wondering maybe this is why my wifi connection is sucking. and yes too lazy to make proper caps right now.

whooooooop. glad to have plans w D later, this mean we can probably plan some evil non-bitchy plan out to help her think about … KAY, oK.
didnt realise that F1’s gonna end past midnight though.
finally got to leech the printer.

so. mad jack last night was 0h-so-great. i TRIED to engage xiyuan, more of make SMALL TALKS w xiyuan. didn’t really realise i’ve had acts of ignorant.

you see, intern is the period where so much talkings can be done to remove boredness.
For example while Alex claims to be making us work in a happier environment everyday, (yes I am taking in alot of nonsense, learning from him how to snap with a rubber band) , i did a good deed today and helped Xavier waste some time.

But of course, all this nonsensical things i have learnt or done in the day cannot win this Ben sweetness. Not that i am complaining. But really really really, who would have thought he has such a side. he makes me want to more-than-pinch-his-cheeks.
no im not swooning over him like some edward cullen.

OH. things i did yesterday at work where Alex was upset ‘no one talks to him or goes to him to give him work’ and he felt ‘unloved’.
So my initial plan was to poke fun of his misery and google for ways to make himself feel loved himself. i ended up taking a chunk of my time googling on how to make someone feel loved. 101 WAYS WAS COOL. It was like some bucket list of things to do. <– sense my excitement.

(it is going to get irritating reading alot of Alex-es around. but he is like some Lincoln i can talk to at work. really rubbish when he told recommended me a ‘good catch’.)

OKAY. if only singapore’s weather can reduce by about 5 degree C, add in some wind and i’ll probably be found lying around in parks and grasses. STILL CANNOT GET OVER AUSSIE PARKS. and staring at my desktop every hour aint helping one bit.

Think the power’s up. (of course i can come up w a gazillion excuses)

speaking of excuses, i have not lied for a long time. i think thats my self achievement. my parents seem to be listening more. but about the naggy parts, doubt it will stop anytime.

not excited to turn 19 anytime soon.
it doesnt feel any special this time, no M19 or R19 to look forward to.
not being random because the time is 1026.

i really digressed from my main point.
and i owe two task still.

while ben haz a chalet to enjoy, i’ll stick my gut at home to clear my work then itz whoooop F1 WEEKEND NIGHTS W D D D D!

excited but no so excited. *inserts spoiler workload* BUT I CAN DO IT! but i need to whine first.
but excited to google on our grad trip now. YF had so much to talk about this morning.

till then, (lao tu sign off)