I asked for Justice League. I get The Avengers.

by limmie

You know when guys are told to remain strong and not shed tears.

I understand that.

Brother and I got awaken by another loud commo today.
This Meimei was not allowed out- till later- but she was all ready to just grab and run out.
The usual mum bicker, the usual whacking. Today a new weapon was introduced. Anything within grasp was possible.
I’ve never seen a Meimei this bad before. When she scream she don’t like this house, I think our hearts all sank and we knew, our Meimei has grown up, to be someone who keeps everything to herself.

I blame myself. For having not been a great example for the recent years. And now, still unable to enter her black world.

When one Meimei cries, the jiejie cries, not knowing how to say the mama makes sense but the Meimei has a point also. When the dad interferes, he receives an attack and that’s it.

Mum need a venting outlet.
Today, she did everything that reminded me of shows like The Devil Inside.
The rolling. The screaming. The jumping. The poking. The banging. Anything can be a weapon to herself. Even a very tiny hair clip.

Helpless. You see your mama wanting to burst out. For a moment I thought I’ve been living w a hulk for years, and today was her unleashing power. You know you need to do something. But you don’t. You stand their in shock. Forcing her to sit down. Else all the knives would really fly. I don’t doubt my mum’s inner power ranger.

Stand there. Looking at her. And both crying together, for a different reason.
This was the moment I realized how much a brother is needed. His strong stance immediately.
-you see this weak thing in me is making cry again-
His strong stance makes you feel protected. I detest papa for not doing anything. But I know his appearance will only trigger worse exorcist acts.
The brother who appeared so strong. He blocked all her actions. He confiscated her weapons. He stood guarded as she locked herself in th toilet. He was all ready to break the door open when bangings started.

Fuck sherilyn only know how to cry.

The brother who gave me strength. Make me feel that the big sister needs to be stronger.

And then he broke down.
Mama did a Demi Lovato. Pins, combs, clips. Red arms.

But I’m proud. To have a younger brother who acts like a bigger brother.
So I have to act like a real bigger sister to the younger sister, and this broken down mother.

Perhaps I have to shop for a punching bag. Isn’t that how Captain America trains?

All my rants previously were invalid.
I haven’t been understanding enough.

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