I am not gay. I am not happy. Why?

by limmie

Three quarts done with WISP and there I am suddenly.
Scrolled Twitter. Scrolled Whatsapp.

I often reflect, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Is there something wrong with the way I act?
Is there something wrong with my reaction?
Have I been a bad friend?
How significant am I to anyone?
Am I not a good friend?
Not someone people can take seriously?
Not someone people can talk to?
Not someone people can rely on?
And by ‘people’ I define them as my friends.

All the smiles and fun and joy.
All so simple.
And yet there is this hollow patch in my life that I have constantly been feeling recently.
I just don’t get it.

In my head, I can simply just sum myself up as someone there you can have fun with but that’s that.
A fun friend you turn to to bring joy. (Not being thickskinned here, HMMM)
We are CLOSE friends, but not quite the close type of close BFF we watch in movies.

Is this hole somewhere in me that makes me feel, I really don’t understand what is going on with my friendships.

Enlighten me, someone.