You never will be always right. You’re living in your self-delusional world. Shit up.

by limmie

One month ago, I gleefully reported that I would and I could make things at home better by speaking out.

Maybe it was a wrong time today. By the time I spoke out, we were both boiling rage piping hot.

It all started w me saying, “If it’s mafan, then never mind.” A simple sentence w no horrible meaning.
Then the screams and yells came of, “What do you mean troublesome,” and the blahs.

Rage me could not shut my mouth up, even going on to shooting that I didn’t want to be likea dad. But I guess I have to start acting like dad all over again. Just shut the fishy fish up.

Then the drama came. Rain blows all over dad. Cheeks weren’t spared. I look up to dad and his mega tolerant level. Vase One went down in the kitchen. Not a single touch to mum. He still acknowledge the “fact” that she is still recovering.

I hate myself for saying this. But it has been far too long, physical strain I understand, but the bulk of her problem lies in her attitude, character. Definitely a change I dislike.

Next up, more unhappy rants about me not being at home. I’m fishy fishing home every single day, the only other places I go to are th School and th Library. So poof, library trips in future will be a planned quiet affair. I have to resort doing all this Year 1 stupidity stuffs. To make me feel slightly better, and to make her think better.

Did I mention these recent nights I’ve been ordered to sleep by 11? Unless dad intervenes, she actually went EXAM SO WHAT. Mayb it’s the concern for my lack of sleep, but I do do do feel I’m old enough to know if I lack sleep.

This morning, we were all woken up at 9 TO GO FOR LUNCH. Tell me who eats lunch at fishy fishing NINE AM. Bro and I took an hour to get ready, not wanting to eat, we tagge along. WE DID SAY IT WAS TOO EARLY FOR US TO EAT, nonetheless, our food were ordered, who wouldn’t e grouchy?
Who was in position to be gloomy and unhappy? Definitely not her, but she was a grey as them thunderstorm clouds.

I somehow felt she wasn’t happy w my gg overseas. I secretly feel it’s because she finds it unfair that I’m always gg alone, wild guess, sounds unbelievable but just a thought of mine. Call me childish but that what I believe my mum is.
So I brought up my impending trip AGAIN. This was before all of tr throwing-screaming drama tonight. She unhappily said, if you dad says okay. So I happily got the Green light and texted CJ.
One hour later everything happened. The first plan she shot down was this. Fishy Fishing Fag or Faggot?

Two days ago, over dinner, we argued. Over whether I can collect the lens I supposedly rented for th airshow. I didn’t really ask for permission to collect, but she went, Lemme think about it. My fault for blurting out, Think for what, but why aim me over some simple thing? Partly because it’ll be Vday, and me collecting stuffs w LS def does not mean anything.

I hate the way she thinks. But I am not in any position to tell her that. I did that today, she vermantly denies it all, infant directing everything back to me.

I said there was no trust, she bombed that I did not trust her in the first place.

I don’t get my mum.
She doesn’t get me either.
She think she does.

But I doubt I’ll ever get the chance to tell her this. I love my mum, but not the one she’s becoming.

This sucks.
My lips are remaining glued in future. For dad’s sake. It’s unfair that he get malign for ‘taking my side’.

What’s a home with so much lack of communication?

I can simply look in the mirror and warn myself to shut th tears up. Then I spot that fishy fishing red mark on my back. The bamboo pile was thankfully snapped up by dad, else I wonder who else will get mad-dogged attacked by it too.

If me speaking up means fights and arguments, why not let the communist continue running a one-man show and just shut up in the corner?
There will be apparent peace, but close to zero happiness. If it looks peaceful, why not? Why trigger this fragile peace?
Her daily ranting will not stop. But if this is what makes her happy, WE WILL ALL JUST SHIT UP AND LOOK HAPPY.

All these pretense and shitload of fake images. To hell w you.
Shit up Sherilyn.
Imma be done w MF Chapter 5 and start snoring. Itz 1.30.
I used hate twice today.
And that fishing fish word count adds up to 10.

Advertisements