It’s a big bad world.

by limmie

Hi WordPress. I’m too big an emo kid.
I can hardly leave home w a happy face. I can hardly come home w a happy face. I really am thinking of thr family conselling. But judging from egoistic mum’s l won’t have a peaceful session there or after any of it.

It never does feel fair but I ain’t complaining. That great awesome shout I was greeted with in the morning. That spot check she wanted. The housework I owed.

Does the problem lie w her or just me?
The sudden decision she made leaves me w no choice. A three night thing being reduced to a single night. Better than nothing, but I need them to see, I ain’t the ‘kid w the most freedom’ around. That’s what they really think.

Maybe cause I’m a -female- thus the harsh restriction. But that tone, that look …

And now the same story is replaying. I was rather okay with my previous job, until she told me to quit. I did so.
The holidays came, I told my plans of studying and working, I sensed some support, she lobanged me a job, but when things get ugly, all the words of asking me to quit gets out.

The next big issue will be money, all about money. I work I save I spend. I dare not ask for more money because of the earful I know I will get. This becomes a problem because now you think it’s because I think I’m great. Great because I work to earn my keep. You’re unhappy w me for spending my money, you’re unhappy w me or not asking you for money, you’re unhappy because you don’t like me to ask for money. There is just zero cents in this, ZERO SENSE.

When you’re angry, you just want to remove my happy moments. I really cannot stand any of this.

The only other place I can really be less upset is school. But it’s only the first week and .. I think there’s this weird thing going on w me. I dug my own grave, now someone knows my secret and everything dies. It always always always happens.

This 161 quite fast ! Currently reaching DTE, but I have yet to bring that smile out.

So upset w everything. And the worst thing is not being able to tell anyone. It’s easy to see a high happy Sherilyn everyday. All those false accusations are simply ridiculous absurd and hurtful.

Hoping this two day one night getaway will get me better.
No amount of spams of sad faces will be understood.

Sherilyn rolling in the deep.

Advertisements